We would like to regretfully inform you,

There are plenty things that I regret. Some more lame than others. Others more lame than some.
For example;

• I regret not confessing, really - really confessing to that one guy I had a crush on and maybe fell in love with for some thing close to 4 years of my life. At least I'd have really known.
• I regret not studying as hard as I could for my SPM. Maybe I'd be somewhere entirely different if I had shown the same work ethic that was finally born in me in my matriculation while I was still in high school.
• I regret taking medicine sometimes. But only sometimes. Because I love this, and it is amazing
• I regret going up to the stage that day during that motivation camp and getting humiliated in front of  approximately three schools in my district
• I regret not kicking his ass for humiliating me in front of approximately three schools in my district.
• I regret not being as vocal as I want to be sometimes. Because holding things in is not really that healthy.
• I regret not doing as much as I could, because I would have learned more. Known more. Done more.

To name a few.

And, you know what? I'm probably gonna regret going to sleep early, without studying tonight, because we have double cases tomorrow, but I am sleepy. And Damn It All. So yeah;

... good night.

akunona

And if you some how not get it, this is a post stating that I am going to bed early, come what may, and good night.

We want a cure for procrastination! When do we want it? Tomorrow!

I should actually be getting ready for work. But life is defined by the things we procrastinate. Humhaa

Last week at Simpangan Depok. I have Surgery and Anesthesiology at Husada next. On the plus side, I don't have to rent a new room because Husada is relatively near. You know, in the way two bus route changes and having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn is near. Ah, things we co-ass do to get to work where we are treated lower that that rag you have there under your feet. Fantastic. Moan and groan, moan and groan. But then I realize, I really love doing this stuff. Not like. Love. Then everything is fine, rinse and repeat. Because damnit Medicine.

How's life nowadays? Doing dine. Being rather free since I finished my theory exam last Thursday and my physical exam exam Monday. We're really just laying around. We still do follow ups, presenting patients during rounds, running to get labs, being on call and all that stuff though. But having sat through the exams brings a false sense of freedom. Not really, because like I said,we're still working. Anyway, holding the pediatric neurology file this week. For the last time. And it's a really awesome case though. Complex Febrile Seizure with history of seizure without fever. Pretty interesting but only to me apparently.

Apparently that person thinks that my siblings and I aren't mad at her because when we came to her house during raya a year ago, we weren't angry.

She apparently expected us to act like uncivilized children and scream her eardrums out or bash her head in using the trowel. Maybe I'll take her up on her offer. You know. Bash her flat screen with my bare fists, possible major injury be damned. But then a again, I am a civilized person. So maybe I'll just kick her kid when she's not looking. Or maybe not. That's just my emo talking. Anyway, lets all put our hands together, and bash a hole in the wall.

I have issues as you can probably tell.

Okay. So enough of that. Lets just get ready for work and face the day with a smile. while inside, a house is burning, the ashes falling like black, black snow and the smell of burning wood will be invigorating.

What the hell is with guys and damsels in distress anyway? I don't get it. Must I act like some victim to get a guy's attention? Please, tell me.

oh dear, i am so weak and need protection, what ever shall i do

akunona

there maybe issues that need addressing but damnit. I'll be okay soon

P to the R to the O to the ...

Hello. I'm here. Taking some time to finally write an update. Just to show my future self when I trawl the older post buttons that, in May, I was actually stupid enough to write a post when I should have been studying. Or something.

Four weeks in, next week. Psychiatry posting. It has changed my views on psychiatry, that's for sure but sadly, I still don't really like it. It's kind of too abstract and subjective. Even for medicine. So yeah. Psychodynamics is interesting though. But that's not something we do. It would make a very interesting intellectual argument however. I was actually tempted to write an entry about existentialism and the defense mechanisms, because it really is interesting. I mean, how can something threaten your existence so much that you run away to a different reality all together? How can wanting something so much, but not being able to achieve it results in having a skewed perception of reality. How can some experiences be so harrowing a you have to bury it deeper and deeper and in some cases, just run away all together? All very interesting questions. And not something that I can answer. I just find myself recently having a new kind of respect for all the "crazies" we see on the roads and everywhere. They're just really, really sick, you know? Here's to advances in psychiatry. Not me though. I'm not touching this stuff again after I finish here. Unless I absolutely have to.

What have I been doing? Three case presentations, am writing/translating a paper in which I also have to do a presentation for next week (this week), studying for exams on the fifth week. I miss having lectures. Weird, but I always have been rather academical.

Anyway, like the background? Messing with your eyes, and increasing your minus, akunona.

On more lighter news, Arashi is releasing the Dome DVD for their "kimi to boku" concert on the 15th of June. Which I have secured (YATTA). And a new album called "Beautiful World" and an ensuing tour in which some proceeds will be donated towards the Tohoku earthquake fund. Lots more information on that but I am currently disinclined to write about it. Everyone already knows about it anyway :D. Just that, Arashi, thank you for being sort of epic. Though I am currently cheating on you and listening to KAT-TUN albums. XD

Ah well, to do some studying. If I can.

Maybe not.

we'll see

akunona


to the C.R.A.S.T.I.N.A.T.I.O.N
PROCRASTINATION

Conspiracy theorists, wooo ~ *wriggly finger movement*~

I have not updated in ages, yes?
I am a very busy person. Not so much. But I was.

We just came out of three weeks of PADAS so forgive me for not updating. Loads of things happened that deserve a mention but that would take too long. I might do bullet points. Which are currently me new love. I have no idea why. Since my bullet points tend to long and draggy anyway.

So. Results for PADAS have been announced this afternoon after days and days of being left hanging. You know, that feeling where you're on that ledge and it isn't clear if the hand reaching towards you will help pull you up of give that one little nudge to send you tumbling down to your death. I'm not even making this up. Metaphors how I love thee. Not a lot of people would get me anyway.

I passed by the way. After having to repeat the paper once. I cried. Like a lot. During that two day time period of new patient searching and doing the follow up and everything. It's sort of embarrassing. But I did. I am a weak person.

We're going to know where we are going to be stationed, in these next two days. Friday and Saturday. We're due at the new place on Monday. Yep. True Ukrida style. You have to admit, it does keep you on your toes. Also provides endless hours of bitching and worrying. But that's life. At least, ukrida life.

Saturday is graduation day. :D
No, I haven't graduated yet. I'm still not a doctor. I have a year and a half left, if everything goes well. But I do have a degree. Yeah, weird. But, when in rome and everything ...

You should see my kebaya, Yes, I bought a kebaya which I am going to wear for graduation. In one word, it can be described as "heavy". Believe me, it is. I'll post pictures. Maybe in my facebook. I have been influenced by my good friend Rai. You can all blame her (or thank her, which ever way this goes. Though, what ever happens, it'll probably be my fault because my fashion sense is woefully under developed. Like I am.)

15/4 3.45pm

We had a black out last night so I never managed to finish writing up this post. Huh. I have no idea what the time stamp is going to come out as, so just to be neurotic, I noted it down.

We had rehearsals for tomorrow's ceremony. Lots of pomp and ceremony. Lower your head, use two hands, walk slowly, everybody stand up.... wait for it... now! That kind of thing. It's sort of interesting but the ceremony promises to be long winded and boring. Lots of people talking, and you having to be serious and everything.

My family's not coming this time around but mum and yin already came last month while I was on 'holiday' so that's okay. The timing is never right. But I hope that they can make it for the next graduation thingy, if I can make it. InsyaAllah.

Our first stations have been announced. Monday I'm going to go to Depok, for Radiology. It's a two week cycle, then we'll change places again. Um. Yeah, we'll get to that when we get to that. But for now, let's just take a day at a time yeah?


Anything else? Nothing much. I'm sleepy. Slept late because I spent last night being eaten alive by mosquitoes. So yeah.

till next time

akunona

p/s: title is actually pretty appropriate for current situations. But that's a longer story and I'm not in the mood to type it out.

claw-like hands

We're having to do two reports in three days nowadays. So most of the week is spent in front of the laptop, typing. Thus, claw-like hands. Because after a while, you're fingers get cramped and stay in that position. So do your fore arms. Well, at least mine. Because my table sucks.

Anyway, while it's pretty much a given, I kind off find it disconcerting when they use my stuff for the presentations. Not that I don't use my stuff when I have to make the slides, but I just find it disconcerting. Like, you're sure you wanna use that? I think it's more of a inferiority issue, but yeah. Are you really sure you want to use that?

Here's to us not getting called tomorrow. I hope so, so much.

Not stage fright though. I got rid of stage fright ages and ages ago. Not to mention countless occasions of self-embarrassment in front of various people including students from other schools.

Oh wow, can I hold a grudge.


Back to studying my slides.

Oh, and I need to do something about this refusal to think about problems.

carpal-tunnel suddenly comes to mind

akunona

vocal exercises

I sometimes think you people just like to scream. A lot. Like, really. A lot

It's hilarious.

Anyway, cleaning my room. In the dead of night. It is wonderful. Because it's not as hot as day. Though I'm gonna finish tomorrow.

My comics are all organized by number and sell and keep piles. According to which I love reading the most and the ones, I like, but am probably going to sell sometime in the future.

I've been meaning to sell for ages. Anyone can tell me where in Jakarta Barat, can I sell these? Don't really care for the price. Just wanna get rid of em.

I have too many and not enough room.

Cleared up the mounds of notes and organized my work folder. It's funny that my format for writing up my reports haven't really changed as much through out the years. They just get more... meatier? as years progress. Well, the subjects are getting tougher.

Changed the posters on my wall. I don't like empty walls. But I'm not all that creative to decorate it like I've seen some people do, so, posters it is.

Now, garish red tuxedo wearing wet Arashi has been replaced in the box they came in and replaced with cool, hat wearing, come hither expressions making Arashi. Kakkoi~~<3<3<3 Any thing else? Screaming people are screaming at everything. It's cute, really. I wonder if our neighbors think someone's getting murdered on a daily basis? I kid, I kid...

Oh!! And another thing! I FOUND IT!!! I FREAKING FOUND IT!!! I know I don't throw important stuff away. I'm not that stupid. HAH.

coffeeanyone?

AkunonA

3 more days????

have a Neener

NINO WEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!

In three more days. :D

I may or may not be crazy for doing this at the eve (and during) exam weeks. But then again, I go through this *gestures wildly* every single exam week anyway.


Wait, I am.

ibetthatmadeasmuchsenseasithoughtitdid

AkuNonA

I am alive!

and taking the worst time ever to update my blog, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. I need to retain my sanity somewhere.

About the Talent Day mentioned in my last post, it went off without a hitch. Which was awesome

We failed at keeping synchronized. Which was epic fail.

We all had fun. Which is again, awesome.

Because i f'**ked up, I'm not gonna upload the video here. XD Oh lordy.....
Anyways, I made some edits to the caramel song chords post. Too lazy to link but just click on tags in the sidebar. You can now download the chords in mediafire. Tell me, which chords of mine you want and I'll upload it to mediafire.

Erm, anything else? Life is a major problem as usual. As are exams. But really, since when has it not been? I think I used up too much energy during last block and that Talent Day in the first week and all I can feel now, is burned out. Urgh. Need to get some spirit back, Exam Week is upon us. Oh who shall pity our souls? Apparently not the lecturers

As a parting gift, have a picture I drew in msPaint. It fails too, at being recognizable and clean. But hey, I sort of like this dirty style. :)

i need to clean up .___. ''''


jakartaistoohottothinkin

AkunOnA

Floppy

That's me right now.

Floppy.

I'm lethargic.

I'm sick.

I also have an exam tomorrow.

Life is truly wonderful. (and believe it or not, this isn't sarcasm. I really mean it)

I'm back in Indonesia, if anyone's wondering. Though friends over here, if you still are, then I ask, "who's the floppy chick that you saw in class today?"

I have a slight fever. No worries. Took paracetamol. Drank lots of water. It's already gone down, without ever really having gone up. XD.

I had a wonderful raya. I met most of my high-school friends and it was lovely meeting them. (I shall, seriously, not laugh like that ever again. It's painful. Well, at least not till we meet up next time. In which time, I shall not drink. No.)

I got a love birthday present from my bestfriend. Thanks for that. I'd take a picture but I haven't got a camera.

I also bought a bunch of books. (I say bought but, my dad paid. I only paid for one book that I bought at the lcct bookstore), which are currently calling my name but I can't read them yet because I have a load of other things to do.

I want my guitar back. Hmm, when are you going to return my guitar?


I also have procrastinated enough and shall go back to studying for my Gizi exam.

ahlife

AKuNonA

It looked so saddeningly empty: entry of Pity

yeah.... the blog looks at least a little bit presentable now.

Anyway, to blogging...

I really shud be packing you know. Or at least sorting out my stuff and all that...

but I don't want to... Not yet anyway.

The floor's cold incidently... It's been cold almost everyday. You'd think a tropical country would at least be warm... Yeah, goes to show how global warming isn't a myth... (hmm, sumhow I find that rather ironic)...

Due to the cold and humid weather we've been having, some mold apparently thought it prudent to grow in my wardrobe...

yeuchhh..

so yeah, just finished cleaning that out.

I have tons to do. Yet I'm not doing them...

gimme a break

I've been rather short-fused recently.... yeah....

Shouldn't have done that...

Sorry guys.... it's not you, it's me.

I really should learn to control my temper... Or at least find a better outlet for them...

Any ideas? I went to TA the last time I was in a bad mood... at night...alone...

Yeah, not exactly the safest choice but I did feel better.

...humhaa...

till next rambles... I have nothing else to say...

~aKuNOnA~