have a random picture

Last weekend we (that is, my groupmates in this posting and I) went to the beach and then to Borobudur. Have a random pose I did when my friend asked me to and I was actually talking to my mum on the phone and wasn't actually thinking.

UMI DA!!!

On the subject of Borobudur, really majestic looking. I wished I had more time to trawl around the museums they have around there but we were in a rush to get back because the rental time for our car was coming to an end. What struck me the most was how this huge thing almost seemed like a puzzle. How they fit the blocks together. And the fines craftsmanship of the carvings along the wall. Rather awe inspiring.

Small happening, a small group of tourists from Japan came by while Mira and I were resting. I heard them talking and without actually thinking, I said

"Ah, Nihon-jin da." = "Ah, japanese"

And one of them apparently heard me and turned around towards us. I thought I had been rather rude, so I nodded my head at her, waved, smiled and said "Konnichiwa".

She said "Konnichiwa" back, looking rather perplexed and went back to her group.

I kind of still think I had been rather rude. I have no idea why.

Oh, and they had an Indonesian tour guide with them and seriously, he was speaking Japanese so fluently that I was rather impressed and not a little jealous. I wonder if he went to class for it?

Anyway, that's all for this random post. May we meet again.

koas rsmata yap di candi borobudur

with a random pose for effect

akunona

can anyone describe this feeling

Rather melancholic sounding title, non? Ignore it, I've been reading romance laced stuff. It's making me melancholic. Though I'll never admit it out loud. Because romance just doesn't go with the image I've been cultivating. Of which I am only vaguely aware of. That is not really that important anyway. I have self-esteem issues, ok? So what?

So, this year, I'll be spending my lebaran holidays right here in Jogja. Inevitable, what with only being allotted two days holiday and having to be on call at the polyclinic just before and after Raya, and the echoing recesses of my bank account. Like I said, it is sadly, inevitable. I've already bought my Baju Raya though :). Maybe some time during raya, I'll post pictures. Mira will be going back to Jakarta so, that pretty much leaves me here alone. Oh, but next week a couple of Malaysian seniors will be coming on Sunday. We'll see. Whatever happens anyway, I want to go out on Raya. Anywhere. Just out. So I won't end up thinking crap. And crying. But mostly thinking crap.

I had a sort of stupid idea this morning while I was taking a bath. Maybe if I opened a business in translating journals for my friends? Though, since I'm a coass myself, commissions taken will have to take note of what posting I am at the time and if I have any time at that time. The amount of commissions taken will rely on the current conditions. Payment will be per page, I think. Extra charge if the article is amazingly technical. No pay back guarantee if your counselor laughs at your (my) translation, because dammit word choice is really difficult. And you still have to reread it so that the gist of what the article is about. I'll only translate it. Explaining the whole thing is entirely up to you.

Well, I can dream. I don't really have the time anyway.

I had a dream the other day where I was a spy who had been made to lose my memories because of security reasons, but they were trying to make me remember because of some reasons. And my colleagues were Ryo-chan, Ueda, and Arashi were in there somewhere, and Shige. I may be starting to like Shige as well now. In a sort of annoying kind of like. Does that even make sense? It was an awesome dream anyway. Mostly for the Johnnies. Bet you already know that though.

A little touch of irony; in my ophthalmology book, in the chapter talking about short-sightedness (myopia), there is a sentence in the paragraph that is explaining steps to preservation of eyesight in young people to prevent further advancement of myopic symptoms, which reads
"Do not read too much". ... Ironic, rather.

What is that feeling when you're feeling irrevocably alone. And all you can do is laugh at yourself because you're being stupid. And you know, but you can't help but feel sad. And you feel kind of helpless. And you want to talk to someone. Just to talk. But you don't really have anything to talk about. And no one really, to talk to. And you sit down, and there's an empty feeling in your heart and you want to cry but you're not sad enough. You feel detached, apathetic, maybe melancholic... ....

probably indigestion

akunona

p/s: my sarcasm shall now be diagnosed as a defense mechanism by all those privy. Or maybe PMS. Who knows.

in which life is lived out of suitcases

Which is my current view on co-ass ship. There are no clothes drawers. Anywhere.

Hi

So here I am in Yogyakarta for my fourth posting which is opthalmology. RSM dr Yap. Yeay. I don't know. Apparently it's one of the more... lax (?) postings. Not a lot of things to do, but quite a lot to learn. If you're willing. We'll see how I go.

I miss internal already. Yes, because I am nerd like that. I can safely say that I love internal medicine. As horrifying and brain squeeze inducing as that sounds, I loved it. I was really sad when it finally ended, last Saturday. My doctor was/is amazingly, awesome. You have no idea.

Back to Jogja and Opthalmology. Here with Mira. We have a room in the hospital mess. Ladies get one house, guys get another. It's okay but the mattress has clearly seen better days. Lying on it is akin to lying on wood. God knows how many people have slept on it all these years of interchanging coass-es. The room is reasonably large, no wardrobe, one fan, and one drawer to put stuff, but maybe not clothes, in. We're living out of our suitcases, and already planning to go back to Jakarta for raya because we're the only ones actually celebrating out of our current group and it'll generally be too sad if we had to stay here for the celebration.

First day, skema-ness dictates we'll be going in at 0700am. I have yet to take a bath but I will after this, I promise. It's been ages since I had to live in a dorm like situation (though this is a house) where the first rule is always toilet privileges. If you have lived at a boarding school for over 5 years, there is nothing more important than toilet privileges. Except for maybe the "your bed is your private space" rule. Not exactly looking forward to this since yesterday I was still feeling melancholic over having finished internal posting and leaving Simpangan. Because, dammit Medicine posting was the best posting yet. And I miss my girls. As lame as that sounds.

So anywho. 0500 am. Would like to go pray and take a bath now. And maybe a short nap before having to get ready for first day. Why can't they post us to hospitals and finish our entire posting there rather than having to move everywhere every time we change postings? At least first day adaptation to new environments won't have to happen so often.

tour of duty

akunona

Nadia is the cutest coass ever

Last week of internal posting. I've done one of my exams. With a very difficult patient. With a very difficult diagnosis. I have one more exam pending. Maybe of Thursday. It was supposed to be yesterday but it was pushed back again. It's been pushed back once. Huh. Not that it's that bad. At least I have time to study. Maybe. I'm bored of studying. Since I figure I'm pretty dumb.

We are six people, have no idea how many of us are going to be together for the next posting. Today Wan's going to come here. She's going to be in the obgyn posting here. It's fun. Sad though that I can't be here as well. I have only one week left.

So to conclude because I have no idea what else to write, I am still alive, I haven't been updating because I am super busy most of the time and I love using what free time I have to sleep. I am waiting impatiently for new postings to come out. And I love my girls. And internal medicine. But I am geek like that.

but nona is way cuter ;)
akunona

of experiences

Last week have been full of them.

Hi. Finally emerging from my hole of work to post something on this blog.
So, a lot of things happened last week. One of the more major things is that I fainted for the first time in my life. Hahaha,

It felt like everything decided to shut down and I couldn't move no matter how much I wanted to. I was exhausted by that time. What with only sleeping for two hours that night and having been on call for over 24 hours and the stress of an emergency situation. It's a matter of minutes before I keeled over. Funnily, I managed to find a chair and took a seat before I fainted. Not so funnily, I picked the chair in front of the patient's room and a lot of people were milling around and I probably managed to add more to the chaos than help. People think that I fainted because I couldn't stand the blood. (-_-;)

It is rather embarrassing.

What ever any one says, I am glad that I saw this patient through.

This has been a week rather full of experiences. I'm glad for them. Really. I really love this thing I'm doing right now. Even if I'm perpetually tired. Even if all I want to do on a any given day off is to sleep. I really love this. I'm glad I'm doing this. I want to do everything I can to help. To treat. I'm still learning. I'm still making my way through this. There are mountains of things I still have no idea about. But, I love this.

Also, sometimes there have been patients who have asked me when the hell do I go home? Or do I stay at the hospital?

5 more weeks to go.

Another thing, I know I am a workaholic. I am a professional when we are at work. I know this does not sit well with a lot of people. I hope you understand. I can't help this. This is who I am.

I'm only sorry that you can't stand me.

workaholic'sanonymous

akunona

scaredy cat

Because the unknown is really, really scary.

So what's new? Well, I'm off to Depok again. Though now for internal medicine. And at a different hospital. People are saying that it's going to be fine and all, but still, as my first major posting, this is kind off daunting. Almost finished packing, some stuff that I'm still using are out, but that's it. I'll throw it in my luggage when I'm done and almost out the door probably.

Here come sleepless nights?

Heading out around noon, insyaAllah. The kos/kontrak has been confirmed. I think. If not, then yeah. Die lah, us. Still have to negotiate the entire rent though. There is a rather sad trend of overcharging for non-local people. Happens everywhere, I know. Still, sad, sad fact. We aren't made of money and coins, people.

I am scared, I admit. It's always the same feeling. Fear of the unknown, of some sorts. Because, yeah, we really don't quite know what we're supposed to be doing. But apparently, that's what the first week is for. Acclimatization. Getting used to new hospital = new rules. New behavioral patterns we have to adapt to. It's all fun.

InsyaAllah, to a good, educational, fun 10 weeks in internal medicine.

packing is such a drag

akunona

It was either this or the cat ...

So, last week in psychiatry. New postings came out yesterday and I'm off to Depok again but at a different hospital, doing Internal Medicine. Now's the time to see if I really want this. If I'm cut out for this, if I can do it. I like internal medicine. We'll see if I end up still liking it. Like, I liked psychiatry when I learnt it in class, I like talking/discussing stuff about psychodynamics, really interesting, I just don't really like psychiatry anymore. If you can understand any of that, wonderful.

I finished my exams Tuesday. I was assigned a rather difficult patient. Difficult because he didn't want to talk with me at all, and in psychiatry, it's the interview that counts. We got off on the wrong foot and everything, but I didn't want to ask for a new case. My stubbornness can be legendary. So, I stuck with him. Approached him for so many days the nurses at his ward know me by name. After all that, I managed a decent rapport. Not sure if I aced the exam but at I don't think I did too bad on my case. We had a harder time with the other guy's case. Good god, that case. We answered to the best of our knowledge, but damnit...

So anyway, he's a nice kid. I wish him all the best.

So next 10 weeks at Depok. We'll see how it goes. Unimportant fact, we finish a day after my birthday. I think I should start studying, I will. Maybe. Some time later.

I don't know what I got for this posting. May I get a good mark, insyaAllah.



In other news, while reading a stupid post on tumblr (I trawl, I do not have) I almost made another argument on existentialism and life. Oh my god my brain. Let's drown it in senseless drivel.

oh yeah,

HAPPY NINO MONTH PEOPLE!

akunona