of opinions

Not a really popular one I think, this opinion of mine. Nor is it really fully formed so, ignore inconsistencies and such. But I thought I'd voice it out. Put it out there. Since I've been thinking about it a lot recently. Yes, i know, I should very much be thinking about that case analysis I have to do, but that's another thing.

So, what is it? There's an article going around facebook, amongst my med school friends that recently caught my attention. It's an article about how doctors are treated in Malaysia. How the medical system is a dump site of dumb political bull and the medical assistants and nurses have more power than you, the doctor. It's an old article. One that I remember reading ages ago. And I remember it striking a chord with me then. But now...

Now don't get me wrong, I have no idea if all that is true, and for all I know, maybe it is. But what I think is, I don't care. I'll get to there, when I get to there. And to get to there, I have to get through this first. And for medical students, to worry so much if they are going to be treated with the respect they deserve, they would have to first manage to become houseman first. When you've managed that, become an MO. Then work for their respect. Isn't that the way it should be? The system can change. If you're really that worried. In fact, be that change in the system. But as a med student, read the article, remember it, and work your ass of so that when you reach that place, you won't be treated like that.

And another, rather unpopular and fatalistic opinion I have; you signed up for it. You wanted to become a doctor. That one time, when you were in a dark place, hopped up on fumes and supplied with a misguided sense of glory, you agreed to take medicine. You signed up for this life of endless stress. Live with it. Accept it. Embrace it. Stock up on phenobarbitals.

But on the other hand, I am now a coass. Like a Malaysian houseman, similar, but not quite the same. I see how the hospital staff sometimes treat us. Like glorified messenger boys and girls. But really, sometimes, I don't mind having to run down three times a day to get the test results I need. I don't really mind having to observe the patient's vital signs every hour on the hour (though I admit, there are times I fall asleep and miss a turn). I don't mind having to run around giving out the meds. Honest. Yes, there are times I curse your inadequacy, but I like doing this. I feel like I'm doing my job (even if I'm doing yours). I feel like I'm learning. But this is maybe because at my hospital, the amount of patients I have is really small, that I'd do anything to be actually doing something.

But anyway, my opinion. I don't know. I used to have this sense of pride that I'm going to be a doctor. Now rather than that pride, I feel resigned, that I'm going to be a doctor. I feel that, rather than argue I'm doing so much, I work 72 hour shifts, I don't even go home to eat, bathe and sleep and all that, so I deserve your respect. Give me your respect. I am sacrificing my life for you, hear me roar, kinda thing, I'd just rather work quietly, do my job, get it done. Then go home when I can go home. And earn that respect, if I deserve it. I don't even know if I'm going to be that good a doctor yet. I don't even know when I'll be a doctor yet. It's not that simple. You can't just expect that because you are a doctor, people should automatically respect you. Doesn't work like that. Yeah you studied this shit, blood, sweat, tears and then some, but you still don't deserve respect until you've earned it. But if you keep on complaining about sacrificing everything and no one even respecting you for it, doesn't it make you question your sincerity? What exactly are doing this for?

An example: I read this quote

A doctor is being yelled at for taking too long to get there, while trying desperately to save the life of a total stranger, holding his/her bladder because they didn't have time to pee when the beeper went off, starving because he/she missed his/her meal, tired because the beeper went off just as he/she closed eyes & it's now 5 in the morning and missing his/her family while taking care of yours.

and rather than think, "That is so true. I do/did/will do this." "I sacrifice/d myself for you ungrateful louts." "I am proud of myself for doing this" or something some such, I think, "Mehh, our fault for signing up for this shit." But, mind you, this is just the way I see this quote. It's a nice quote. What I think is, that's the job description, right there. So?

But that's just one (unpopular and maybe inarticulate) opinion from a med student who is still working for a pass. I think that, what ever happens, I'm just gonna do my job. And I'm going to do my best at it. If you want to worry about it, then fine go and worry, I'm just gonna do my job. Not exactly that ambitious. But it's something that I want to do. And if I get that respect, it'll be after I've earned it. A lot of people would disagree, but then again, just my opinion.

a fatalistic out look maybe?

akunona

now back to analyzing that case.