I've always been a fan of smart, sarcastic, sassy, or just mean sentences. I'm not particularly eloquent or anything and having something like that makes me feel cool.
As lame as it is anyway.
So. In memory of when I cared.
The whole family thing is not going all that well. It's all silences and accusations interspersed with family outings where we look like the perfect family of pretty successful people.
It's all very passive aggresive.
And also so unpredictable. Like you'd have a good morning and a shouting fest 2 hours later.
I'm 26 this year and I should be mature enough that this shit should not affect me as much.
But then again, you are never too old to be a child.
That shit is depressing.
Anyway.
I can't take it anymore?
I can't take the accusations. The "subtle" insults. The fact that we are all a farce.
We've been in denial for 4 years. I think it should be enough.
The saying "elephant in the room" has never applied so much.
People used to be jealous of what we have.
And I can't take it anymore.
You said that I can make it better, but how can I make it better when I'm breaking too?
I used to be better because I was far away. So far away that it felt like being a spectator. But not now anyway. It hurts like hell.
My mum's always mad at me for being very profane. Somehow, while I was growing up, profanity always struck me as being strong. You're not afraid to curse. You're not afraid to say what's really on your mind. All the best female characters swore. Maybe I had the wrong role models. You wonder what I read as a child.
Every time this thing happens and we're stuck in the middle of all of it (I mean really, how do you expect us to choose?) I wished that I no longer cared.
I always say, "I do not give a shit" because I am a strong person and I am not afraid to say what I am thinking. " I do not give a shit. I do not care. This is not my problem."
And the fact that I need to repeat this to myself everyday is evidence of the complete and total opposite.
akunona
