Monday, July 26, 2010

(?)

Because basically that's what I'm feeling right now.

Skills lab over and done with and all I feel, is ... (?___?)

It didn't seem to go wrong. But I have idea if it's alright as well.

Maybe I didn't fail. But the marking system is... mehh...

Ah well. I'm either gonna take a nap or do my report right now. I don't know yet.


ビ ミョ〜

AkunONa

read: bimyoo. meaning: "not good", "not really", "it's hard to say but negative"

Every now and then everybody feels stupid





Vitriol by Bluejuice.

Makan hati

hari ni buat entry dalam bahasa malaysia lah plak. tapi, mesti jadi campur2 gak bahasa ni karang.

sekali sekala kena gak meluahkan perasaan dengan bahasa sendiri. Pernah rasa tak, kadang2 susah nak express kan perasaan pakai satu bahasa? So selalu campur2 bahasa. apparently it's a common occurrence untuk orang2 bilingual. Cube bayangkan plak orang yang multilingual tu. Camne agaknya diorang nak get their point across? Too many words too many feelings. Sometimes ade satu perkataan jek yang bleh expresskan perasaan die waktu tu. Tapi kadang2 orang lain tak paham. Biar lah kan. Context tu ada. Kalau dari segi tu pun tak bleh paham, tak tau lah sape lagik yang bleh tolong awak.

But that's not the point malam ni.

Malam ni, nona saje jek nak tulis macam2.

Malam ni nona saje jek nak mengarut macam2.

Bleh kata dah tak daya pun ada.

Bleh kata dah malas pun ada.

Tapi jalan jugak. Tapi buat jugak. Tapi usaha jugak.

Esok ada lagi. Esok mula lagi. Esok habis lagi.

Faham tak? Mesti tak faham. Takpelah tak faham pun.

Na tgh exam skang. whohoooo. kalau kira post ade 138. 120 darinya agak2 ngomel pasal exam.

Nak wat camne. Sape suruh jadi medical student. Exam mencurah-curah. Kalau exam tu currency, ak rasa kitorng kat sini kanak2 terkaya dalam dunia.

So, anyway. Sok kita sunat dummy. Dengan hanya berpandukan theory and pengalaman menghentam waktu the first and last and ONLY skill lab yang TANPA PANDUAN LANGSUNG tu, esok kita exam skill lab kerat2 dummy. Karang, orang circumcise, ak pegi castrate.

oh tidak. Mintak simpang jauh. Tak mau ak repeat skill lab. In fact, tak may repeat apa2 pun. itu jek tujuan ak blaja skang. Supaya tak payah repeat apa2 dah. Tapi macam next sem kena amik semester pendek. Almaklumlah, makin tua, makin malas, makin bodoh. Orang lain makin pandai. Kau sorang terkontang-kanting dekat belakang.

Ak jealous dengan seseorang. Ak rasa dia ada segalanya. Beauty, brains and all the boys. Ak takde satu pun dari mende2 tu. Pastu bila ak tengok dia complain, ak rasa nak tendang dia. Pastu ak pikir, ade ke orang lain rasa mende tu kat ak? kalo ade, ak mintak maap. Ak pikir2 balik, ye lah. Sume orang ade rough patches die kan. biarlah tak yah jeles2 kan. tapi kadang2 rasa jugak. simpan sorang dah lah. Tambah koleksi gastric ulcer ak. Kalo ko buat OMD kat perut ak, mesti nampak banyak "bintang-bintang". Gambaran malignant ulcers dkt lambung. though i forgot the correct term, kalu tunjuk gambar, insyaAllah ingat lagik.

Sem ni adalah one whole rough patch untuk ak. Macam2 jadik. Macam2 tak jadik. Complete paradigm change terjadi. Tapi ak rasa ko tak bleh nak tukar personality ak. Study makin lama makin susah. Kenapa time-time macam ni ko jadik pelik nona? Biasalah. Orang aneh. Orang kata "it never rains, it pours".

macam mana orang lain bleh cope? Asal ko takleh?

Ak tgk kawan-kawan lama ak da banyak yang dah berubah. Da jadi macam2. Ade da kerja. Ada da kawin. Ada yang dah nak graduate. Terasa tertinggal. Ak sorang je ke yang rasa cam lapuk skit?

Aku jumpe balik budak tu. Haha. Ntah. Aku pelik gak dengan dia. Tapi takpe yek. Skarang ak dah ok. Skarang ak da sedar. Mintak maap pasal dulu2. Walaupun ak rasa ap yang ak wat adalah secara tidak langsung. Ak tak berani. Sampai sekarang ak tak berani. Ko campak ak buat public speaking, takpe. Ko suruh ak cakap one on one, sorry la. Tak lepas. Ade gak orang cam ak :)

Entry yang agak panjang dan merapu. Kalau bleh nak panjang lagik. Tapi nanti orang2 yang baca lagi confuse plak.


Orang yang berlagak tough tu, dialah yang paling lemah sebenarnya.


nonamenganehkanmalamanda

AkunOnA

ps: kalau ko baca, and kalau ko perasan tu adalah ko, memang ko pun. :)
pps: bleh tak jangan terpengaruh dengan orang lain? tu orang lain. ade sebab kenapa dia orang lain.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I am tired

A harrowing week to say the least.

A bit of an eye opener.

It's not the end yet.

We have two days of this week to go.

Then we have another week of exams.

Then another week of remedial papers.

Then another week of probably doing nothing.

Then we are going home.

Hold on, mate. Hold on.

It's not a problem.

You've done this before.

You've whacked at it before.

You'll do it.

Albeit not maybe up to your own standards.

But as long as you pass the class, who give's a fuck anyway.

And you, my old friend. Fuck off. I don't need this right now.

I want my nostrils back and my voice to sound OK again so I can play the guitar and sing a few songs when I'm stressed out.

Oh lol.

Maybe I'll type out everything at one point. But not now anyways. I have an exam tomorrow. I need to study. Study. Studayyyyyy.......


thispostistorevmyselfupitmayormaynotbeworking

Akunona

p/s: he does not get it. Oh LOL.


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Epic culinary ________


Failure? Success?

It was edible.

Remember I once said I went out to buy ingredients for burgers.(beef is expensive! gowaaaa) So I did make them. Sometime 2 weeks ago? 1 week ago? Ignore my inability to remember my own past and just concentrate on the fact that I cooked.

This is revolutionary because I cooked. From scratch.

It was yummy. But the next time I'm making this, I have to make sure that I dice the onions smaller. My housemates ate it. They said it was good. Juicy, thick, lots of meat. I... ok? It was good. That is all.

And you wanna know something else? The reason why I wanted to try and make Japanese burgers was because Nino said it's his favorite food.

Go figure. My fangirl obsession. It's EPIC!



heart shaped patty

thoughwhenthatwascookeditlookedmorelikeablobthanaheart

AkunOnA

ready set

and go.

I have exams up the wazoo and no spirit.

Go figure.

And to think this will be the last block before our last semester and then it's co-assistant-ship time. Co-ass. You know, because we'll be on our asses, getting our asses kicked and kissing everybody's asses.

Oh yeah. You can see I'm very enthused about this. No really, I am. I'm just really, really scared.

Anyway, back to the now. We have exams next week. And the week after that. And we have to do house visits (not very good when you're anti-social like me, I'll probably just wade through this somehow. I have too). And we just learned how to do a circumcision. Difficult. Very. I hate. But mostly because instructions I received were ZERO and I was expected to be able to do it automatically during the class and I HATE diva attitude to the max and damn really. Just damn. And damned.

If ever I get to be a lecturer like I've been aiming to do, I hope I'm not as diva-ish as THAT.

Here's really just a post to get things of my chest. Uwahhh...


And "Movin' On" by Arashi is awesome.

And Chatmonchy is awesome.





Mayonaka Yuenchi : Midnight Theme Park

AkuNoNA

Friday, July 09, 2010

Soooo, I may be dead by Sunday

The final block of the semester and we are ending the second week with three papers under our belts. Blood, sweat and tears and maybe, some people who have died countless times in the last four days leading to Friday.

We're doing Community Medicine.

That in itself, does not sound menacing. But trust me, it is.

What we're learning right now, are statistics, methods of analysis, how to run a health outpost, managerial skills, administration skills, legal stuff, problem solving, epidemiology and so many more, in the basis of implementation in the community. To form a health service approachable and can be acquired by any and all. And solve health problems in the community. And to give me migraines.

IT IS BORING!!!!

So, basically, it kills by boredom.

When it doesn't interest, I don't really like to study. When I don't like to study, I don't study. As a result, I have crappy results. Really crappy results.

So that's three papers of which I have no idea of my fate.

I took a nap after coming home from the taking the paper. And I dreamt my friend was teaching me the process of administration.

SEE?? SEE HOW MUCH THIS IS KILLING MY BRAIN???

Granted we were being chased by bandits and there may have been a boulder and elevator chase scenes involved, but the point is, I was learning Community Medicine in my dreams.

I am disappointed in my brain. :(

Anyways, wish me luck! Pray that I do not fail any papers so that I can spend the entire holidays being a couch potato and watching Arashi.

ireallyjustwantedtopostaboutmydream

AkunonA

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Unexpected happiness: nona maybe running away from reality verse. 2

LOOK AT THESE!! capslock totally appropriate

I received these as a (very, really, very very early) birthday present from Rai.

I think this is the first time some one has managed to surprise me this much.

Self made photo books. <3




aiba book


nino book


I LOVE THEM.


here, look at em again.

I know I am. :D

oncloudamillion

AkunOnA

ps: I LOL when I remember my reaction when I opened the presents.


Early post is early: nona may be running away from reality verse


HAPPY (early) 22nd BIRTHDAY IERA, WAN AND ANUM

So, it's neither of their birthdays yet, but we had a surprise birthday party for them (though the original plan was for Wan and Anum only, then we found out that Iera was supposed to have her birthday on July 8th, so we celebrated her aging as well. hahah

anyway, happy birthday girls. Have another great year. :)

small mentions,
  • meat is yummy
  • the power of fangirls is amazing
Anything else? Multiple posts tonight! Since I'm (maybe, maybe not) running away from reality. And besides, that other thing? Deserves it's own post.


thisisthe130thpost

AKunOnA

p/s: happy birthday again. At least we didn't egg you. :)