Di bawah cuaca

A direct translation for Under the Weather which unfortunately brings no meaning what so ever.
So I'm sick.

I haven't been sick for a while actually. It's starting to become a rather novel experience. Not really. Throbbing headache aside, I feel fine already. Had a bit of a fever yesterday which I handled by mostly sleeping it off because I'd run out of paracetamol. Odd, that. Since that's basically my mum's answer to everything. Not that she's far off, since that's what mostly us kids complain about. Oh, and Vicks. Mum really loves Vicks. I haven't any of that though right now. Finished my last jar years ago.

No real thing to write about but I was thinking about the various instances in which I was sick during these Coass year and a half. The most memorable being the fainting incident of IPD posting. Though to be fair, I was exhausted and dehydrated. Hahaha. Memories, that one. Very fond ones.

Then the Bile-Puking-incident of Pediatrics posting in which I puked for the entire night I was on call and still had to go on stand by in the OT for a cesarean. That one makes top list as well. Sad that no one did anything but let me sleep. I doubt my doctor even knew I was sick. Huh.

Also in IPD posting was the Viral-Incident-of-really-high-fever-and-diarrhea in which I touched 40 degrees in one night. And I was scheduled for on call as well, though I was better by the afternoon. They thought I had measles that time. I was pretty much convinced it was viral. Seeing as that particular incident resolved by the afternoon, I'm pretty sure I'm right. I remember that one particularly because we had an emergency case that night and every time I called my consultant to report the patient he would ask me if I was alright and made me promise to rest up if I was feeling peaky again.

After that, not really a lot of bad incidences. Just your random fevers and headaches. But I get tension type headaches on a regular basis. So no worries.

No one ever fusses over me though. They just let me sleep. haha.  And I'm just starting to realize that my most memorable incidences of being sick only happens at that one hospital. Either they're working me too hard or the food around there is really bad. So huh.

I'm glad I had all these experiences though. Builds character? Haha. Though my friends would probably call me crazy and then scream at me for expecting them to do the same. Wouldn't be the first time. I love you anyways :)

So yeah. I'd better go take something for this monster of a headache and go to sleep. May this headache be gone by morning.

alternate title : I have a headache the size of my brain

akunona

Backlogged events

Pretty much a lot of things happened in the time between my last update and now. I don't think I can get everything, mainly because the feelings are already different. Haha. Anyway. I'll do my best writing what ever it is I opened this window to write.

So Neurology posting has already ended last Saturday, today I started a new posting. Right now, doing ENT though still at the same hospital. It's sort of weird still being at the same hospital when all your group mates who shared all the ups and downs and the weirdness of the last posting together. I'll never get used to this. It sort of feels like being abandoned somehow. I know, rather dramatic but yeah. I end up feeling lonely. Like now. I'm still living at the same kost I used during Neurology, because moving is such a hassle and morning commute from jakarta is a nightmare born from the depths of public transportation hell. So yeah. But because Nadia and Atiqah used to live here to, it feels kinda weird. Not that I usually went to hang out at their room or anything, but the feeling that there's someone else there, sort of feels safe. Not that there aren't any friends here, there are. But yeah.

So ENT posting? Nothing to comment on yet. It's just been the first day. I'm sleepy and I don't really want to study. A feeling sadly, that has been prevailing recently. I say I'm tired. Not physically, the weekend really helped. But mentally. I can't take it anymore maybe? I need a break. That's what I want.

Actually, I want to go home. I really, really want to go home. But circumstances do not seem in my favor. Hasn't been. Doesn't seem to be heading in that general direction either. So, yeah. Kinda sucks at the moment.
I don't know.
Feeling kinda lethargic.

In other recent happenings, we were called the worst group ever to pass through the vaulted halls of the RSBY Neurology posting. Yeah. We were just that dumb apparently. Even me. But expectations are generally far from reality, and the reality is I'm kinda dumb as well. So yeah. You can take your expectations and shove it some place where the sun don't shine. Or something.

Question; if I don't reach (or even exceed) someone's expectation of me, is it my fault for not trying hard enough (or for not being smart enough) or is it their fault for being unrealistic?

I know who I'm blaming of course. If you know me well you would know as well.  I wonder if anyone knows me that well? Huh.

I have a recent vague feeling of being, well... vague. Like I don't leave any sort of impression anywhere. Like I just pass through. Like smoke. Or something. Maybe it's just me. I mean, I get surprised when people know who I am during pre-clinic days. It feels like I haven't made any deep relations. But I don't know why that feels so important to me right now.

One of my consultants during Neurology said to me,"I can see you have a lot of drive, but if you want to succeed, you should find friends who have the same drive as you."
In a way, he was telling me to not be friends with my group mates? I have no idea. But I was generally burnt out around the third week, so it was all down hill from there. At full speed ahead because some one cut the brakes.

And it all ended with a spectacular explosion.

Recently, I finished watching Matsujun's latest drama Lucky 7. Though for the most part there were only six because one of the mains had a movie filming as well and was unavailable. Haha. It's the first Matsujun drama I finished and actually liked since Hana Yori Dango. And that's saying something. Because Hana Yori Dango 1 was in 2007-ish. Or was it 2006-ish? Either abouts lah. Pretty awesome. Especially the action scenes. Because Matsujun is bad ass in it. Though Eita's character pretty much steals the show every time he appears. Maybe it's good he had to go for movie filming. Haha. Poor Matssun. But his new hair cut is cool.

I miss fangirling Arashi with my group of friends. We'd got to karaoke and sing japanese songs even if none of us actually know how to read kanji and sometimes end up making up words as we go along. It's fun. And we'd always try to finish the session with A-Ra-Shi. Hahaha. It's kinda cute.

Anything else? I should try to sleep maybe? Since I still have to go in tomorrow. Minor posting or not, it generally sucks.

Ah well. Till next time. When I make more sense probably.

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to mummy. You're awesome. Because if you weren't then I wouldn't be awesome. And I am awesome. Which of course, means you're awesome. Logic. Pure and simple.

mixed

akunona