interlude

So today, I am exactly one year older than I was on this date last year.

Happy 24th Birthday to me. :)

Haven't been doing anything worthwhile though. I have exams these coming Tuesday and I'm supposed to be hunkering down over my books reading and reading and you know. But seems as that's currently not going anywhere, I decided to stop and write up a post instead. So hey

I'm sure that everyone would like to make wishes or what not on their birthdays. Or a general resolution or aim or what ever. I haven't had a thought in that general direction yet. So I probably not make any life changing decisions or changes on my principles or anything. I think I'll just enjoy whatever's coming. InsyaAllah.

Mum and Dad and the whole hoard are coming over this next Saturday! I am excite though not much can be conveyed through these words. Just so you know, I wake up everyday, reminding my self I'll be meeting them soon and getting giddy all over it. Mature I am not.

So yeah. Exams this coming Tuesday. Should probably concentrate on that. Then we'll consider going out to buy stuff and eat stuff and everything stuff.

may this year and the years to come be awesome

akunona

Error: Brain not available

So hey, another Sunday. Followed hopefully by another Monday. Another day as a Surgery Coass. I have to find a case for my exams. And I hate that shit. Wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole covered in biomedical plastic for protection. The exams. Not the patient. Because nothing gets me going like a good case. No seriously. Intellectual stimulation in the form of discussing, I like. When you are actually grading me for this shit, not so much. I have stage fright. Even when there are no stages involved. It's called anxiety attacks. In the sense that it makes me want to attack you. I need something for nerves. Oh god.

So anyway, exams coming up. For both minor and major surgery. The differences of which are rather obscure because I don't know. It's all surgery to me. I mean, it is. They just want to rake in the money by making up extra examinations coupled with the extra cases we have to present. RSH, wanting your money. so so much.

I'm supposed to be studying. An endeavor I have embarked on since yesterday evening after work. I have read stuff. Stuff I already know, repeating stuff. Stuff I don't know, because I like knowing stuff. Studying. But taking more breaks then studying. Read one page, go on the net for half an hour. Rinse and repeat, only not really because my laptop would blow up. And then what will I do?

I need help. Professional or amateurish, not important. Anyone know where I can buy brains of famous surgeons?

Anyway, I just realized, we are made to know how to write up a patient's status properly while at the same time, the doctors I see everyday, don't. Because they are inefficient and time consuming. They write only the important stuff. So why the hell do we have to anyway? I feel like being taught a different method altogether that will not be used anyway. So why bother? Because you're a student that's why. And everything is just so wonderfully redundant. And stupid.

I have had a lovely day of sleeping in, trying to study and napping. All the while disregarding the need to eat. So for dinner I made two packages of ramen. Which is just a fancy way of saying instant noodles. And tea. Because I only have one sachet of instant coffee left and that's for mornings. Because PRIORITY and all it entails.

So. Anyway. I want a lot of stuff right now. A new phone, maybe. New external hard drive, one with a tera memory. New shoes, maybe. Something that hasn't got it in for my ankles. Coffee. Of course. That wonderful source of caffeine. Of which I cannot function without. Lies of course. I shall function. But only barely. Which is hard when people expect you to be more. Contrary to popular belief, I can be lazier than you. Like now. I am lazy. So, so lazy. That's the problem with starting to study early. By the end you're too tired. And someone wants a soft copy of my breast tumor paper because he has the same case (fabricating). I spent a week composing that shit. Don't expect me to give it to you so that you can simply copy and paste it and then present it. Because phooey.

In other news, help me.

Here's to the coming week. May we all make it and pass with flying pieces of human anatomy. Because colors are so old fashioned.

I taught someone how to suture last week, assisted and talked her through it. And it reinforced in me how much I like teaching. And knowing stuff. And letting people know stuff. I love that.

Love me.

Seriously. What the hell is wrong?

This morning I think I left the tap on by sheer absent mindedness and didn't realize until the land lady came up and asked who left it on. She didn't ask me, only my house mate. I heard. Either way, what? Brain? You there?

If one day you have amnesia, would you rather not remember yourself or what you do? Would you rather not know your name, your parents, your friends, the person you love? Or would you rather forget all the things that you have done, what you do, your job, your studies, what you have achieved?

I can't explain this. Hurrrmmm... ah well. For midnight musings.

And here is another strange post brought to you by caffeine (or lack there of) messing up my nerve endings.

connection failure

akunona

We would like to regretfully inform you,

There are plenty things that I regret. Some more lame than others. Others more lame than some.
For example;

• I regret not confessing, really - really confessing to that one guy I had a crush on and maybe fell in love with for some thing close to 4 years of my life. At least I'd have really known.
• I regret not studying as hard as I could for my SPM. Maybe I'd be somewhere entirely different if I had shown the same work ethic that was finally born in me in my matriculation while I was still in high school.
• I regret taking medicine sometimes. But only sometimes. Because I love this, and it is amazing
• I regret going up to the stage that day during that motivation camp and getting humiliated in front of  approximately three schools in my district
• I regret not kicking his ass for humiliating me in front of approximately three schools in my district.
• I regret not being as vocal as I want to be sometimes. Because holding things in is not really that healthy.
• I regret not doing as much as I could, because I would have learned more. Known more. Done more.

To name a few.

And, you know what? I'm probably gonna regret going to sleep early, without studying tonight, because we have double cases tomorrow, but I am sleepy. And Damn It All. So yeah;

... good night.

akunona

And if you some how not get it, this is a post stating that I am going to bed early, come what may, and good night.

Feels like this

laugh

smile

frown

hide everything

bury everything

show no emotion

act like you don't care

laugh again for good measure

sing a song

hum a tune

give a fuck

don't give a fuck

question life

question death

question that ant crawling towards your open bar of candy

smile some more

ignore them

crave their attention

have a piece of mind

have some peace of mind

do your job

toe the line

cross the line

lines are for cowards

do your best

kick your conscience 

smile

laugh

strike a pose

akunona

in which life is lived out of suitcases

Which is my current view on co-ass ship. There are no clothes drawers. Anywhere.

Hi

So here I am in Yogyakarta for my fourth posting which is opthalmology. RSM dr Yap. Yeay. I don't know. Apparently it's one of the more... lax (?) postings. Not a lot of things to do, but quite a lot to learn. If you're willing. We'll see how I go.

I miss internal already. Yes, because I am nerd like that. I can safely say that I love internal medicine. As horrifying and brain squeeze inducing as that sounds, I loved it. I was really sad when it finally ended, last Saturday. My doctor was/is amazingly, awesome. You have no idea.

Back to Jogja and Opthalmology. Here with Mira. We have a room in the hospital mess. Ladies get one house, guys get another. It's okay but the mattress has clearly seen better days. Lying on it is akin to lying on wood. God knows how many people have slept on it all these years of interchanging coass-es. The room is reasonably large, no wardrobe, one fan, and one drawer to put stuff, but maybe not clothes, in. We're living out of our suitcases, and already planning to go back to Jakarta for raya because we're the only ones actually celebrating out of our current group and it'll generally be too sad if we had to stay here for the celebration.

First day, skema-ness dictates we'll be going in at 0700am. I have yet to take a bath but I will after this, I promise. It's been ages since I had to live in a dorm like situation (though this is a house) where the first rule is always toilet privileges. If you have lived at a boarding school for over 5 years, there is nothing more important than toilet privileges. Except for maybe the "your bed is your private space" rule. Not exactly looking forward to this since yesterday I was still feeling melancholic over having finished internal posting and leaving Simpangan. Because, dammit Medicine posting was the best posting yet. And I miss my girls. As lame as that sounds.

So anywho. 0500 am. Would like to go pray and take a bath now. And maybe a short nap before having to get ready for first day. Why can't they post us to hospitals and finish our entire posting there rather than having to move everywhere every time we change postings? At least first day adaptation to new environments won't have to happen so often.

tour of duty

akunona

*punches fist into the air*

OSCE : PASSED

Integration-Blok 29-the-stupid-because-I-did-not-study-worth-shit: PASSED

Skill lab-Blok 29-the-stupid-that-I-was-convinced-I-failed-because-it-was-after-that-fucking-day-that-fucking-thing-happened-and-the-lecturer-was-being-a-major-bitch-and-was-speaking-in-alien-because-I-had-no-idea-what-she-was-asking-and-I-fucking-CRIED-after: PASSED

Skill lab-Blok 30-that-was-all-levels-of-stupid-on-my-part-I-admit-wholeheartedly-because-I-WAS: PASSED

Alhamdulillah, syukur. I passed. No tripping. (this time around).

Now, I'm waiting for Integration Blok 30 results, which are supposed to come out sometime next week.

InsyaAllah, no more tripping up anywhere. I still have that oral medicine thing coming on the 21st of February. So, all the best for that, hopefully.


Nowadays, it's kinda like being in limbo, because we don't have any classes any more but the short semester hasn't started yet, so, I'm bored. And getting fat. Because I'm not exercising. Aww, nuts.


Expect a post on how awesome Arashi is. You can not read it. Who gives anyway? I'm in love.

peace
akunona

"So my brain eloped with my stomach and now I'm brain dead and hungry as hell"

Also known as, "What happens to Nona when she studies for One and a half day straight with only regular breaks for prayers and a meal."

We have finished the second integration exam for blok 30. We still have the skill lab test on Wednesday but I that's for later. The point is, apparently that was our last theory exam.

Huh.

Where the hell did three years go to?

Skill lab on Wednesday, and then maybe some remedial papers if I tripped up somewhere, then my short semester for that one thing I did trip up, then I will have finished the Theoretical leg of my 5 year study in Medicine, thus beginning the Clinical leg, which I am very, very apprehensive off. Theoretical knowledge will only get you so far, or so they say. I also need immediate ass kissing skills? I shall respect, and kowtow to your white-coat wearing genius? Oh god, I hope I pull through with out any problems.

Just came home around an hour ago, we had lunch at 'Hanamasa' but, late lunch as it was, we don't need dinner now. And I managed to buy a taiyaki ice-cream and marble cheese cake. Hmm, dessert. There shall never be any universe where taiyaki ice-cream and marble cheese cake are not relevant, because they are. Very, very relevant.

I'm really sleep now. Only 3 hours of sleep today, and then to the mall to stuff my ugly face. It was either that or sleep straight through the day, anyway. I'm gonna get ready for bed? Maybe, it's only 8pm. So, to end this pointless little update;

live long and prosper

akunona

p/s: no I'm not a trekkie. I had just read a star trek themed fanfic. It was hilarious.

it's all down to perspective really

.
..
...

well, when you put it that way

Integrasi I paper, done. I can now sleep earlier than 3 o'clock and maybe get more than 2 hours rest. At least until Monday. When the cycle begins again.

Idea was stolen (yes, I'm a regular bitch now) but I made my own version of it. So, I dunno? I maybe committing some unforgivable intern-etiquette crime here. Anyway, I thought it was relevant since we're in the Forensics block and all.
It should be: "What's worse than failing an exam?" But I got lazy. ~.~
Blame my mouse. See, if people would buy me tablet ... *whistles*

because the world is how you want to see it

akunona

p/s: my 'o' key is jamming up!!! T^T

uh-oh

Arashi - Love Rainbow.

...

maybe I'll shoot deadly rainbows and blindingly intrusive sparkles?


dead
akunona

p/s: shamelessly stolen meme from somewhere

So long, and thanks for all the stress ulcers

Exams they are over!!!

For the time being anyway.

So, yeah.... Managed to live through my OSCEs only to get brutally murdered on my Integration 2 test. Yes, it is my fault for not studying. Yes, I realize that whining about it is futile. No, I do not care.

I do not think that I have ever sucked so much at an exam as I have sucked in this one. Yes, the syntax is lame, don't blame me, my brain is half dead from being flogged for answers. There were 100 questions to be answered in 100 minutes and I have no idea what I answered for more than half of them. It's really quite epic.


Blok 30 started this morning because my university is a sadist. It looks daunting but the subject matter looks really interesting. Yes, I am geek. Hear me bleep robot noises.
Received the books this afternoon and yep, can't see when I'm gonna read them, but I know I'll have to. The best one? Peraturan perundang-undangan Bidang Kedokteran. Thin book, but deadly.

Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna go get dinner. Apparently I'm hypoglycemic enough to not make sense. Wait? Did that ever matter before?

they were exceptionally lovely this year

akunona

headaches are daily fare

You know you should go and get a life when you find yourself looking at your antibacterial facial foam (the cheap kind) and wondering if over usage can cause resistancy.

Yep. trufax....

Anyway.

I do no want to talk about OSCEs. I refuse to be fucked up by this.

It's next Friday by the way.

And in between we have some classes and a test. I think.

See me not giving a damn.

I hate my life right now.

Can I go home?

I seriously hate this right now.

I'm having almost daily study sessions with friends and in my years of academical experience, this is my first study group.

I don't do study groups. Never have before this.


I read somewhere that You are defined by the things you think you will never do.

huh

making as much sense as my notes right now

akunona

where's that pause button?

Because I need a breather.
So, so bad.

Don't be a medical student. What ever you do. Use your exemplary SPM results on something else.
Just a piece of advice.

I am running a headache. It's a fairly common occurrence now.

We have OSCEs next week. Yaaaayyyy!!!
We have integration this Wednesday and Skill Lab tests of Friday. YAAAAAYYYY!!!!

Either way, I have to go to Husada tomorrow. For a class.

I don't really want to think about this anymore, but yeah.

It's what I do.

I have no idea why I keep on assuming leader positions. I don't even really like being leader. But rather than let everything meander, I suppose.

I don't think they like it though.

Maybe they're thinking I'm just doing it for the glory.

I'm not.

This may be just my paranoia speaking.

Ignore it. It's stressed over exams.

Ah well. I should try to get some studying done.

pause/stop/rewind

akunona

head way, I am not making any

my notes:

Tissue interactions (to laser) was considered merely as transformation of light energy into thermal energy. Destroys pathological tissue by causing coagulation, vaporization, ablation, and cutting. Known as Thermal Effect.
1967 - Observation of hair growth after laser irradiation in depilated mice. Discovery of Laser Biostimulation. Laser non-thermal effect. Usage of Low Power Laser Irradiation

I wrote in the margins:

Dulu, pikir ade thermal effect jek. DESTRUCTIVE - THERMAL EFFECT... BURN IT WITH FIRE!!! Tibe2, tgk ade Biostimulation effect oh noeesss!!! NON THERMAL EFFECT. *le gasp*

my notes are sarcastic. *facepalm* figures yeah? I have loads of anecdotes in my margins. Some make less sense than others.
This is my way of making studying interesting. May not be useful to anyone else but me.


Back to hitting the books. I am not making any head way. Did I already say that? Yeah. I said it TWICE. You will know my pain.

exams. kill. me

akunona

p/s: I remember I wrote a note about glomerular filtration where I wrote: "So, one day OO guy and OO guy discovered glomerular filtration and proceeded to destroy me life -- followed by details of glomerular filtration" during my matriculation years. I am so geek my brain hurts.
p/p/s: I abuse too many exclamations marks.

I am only as sarcastic as you are stupid

So, today we had what was most possibly the longest day ever, filled with various people talking. Most of them, about the same thing. And some not even really making sense.

The organizational skills of my university. I am in awe of it.

What the fuck were they thinking when they started the whole integration system? Granted, it's a pretty awesome idea. It's what PBL is supposed to be. But you don't just wake up one day and decide:

"Hey you know what guys, lets change the current system to an Integrated system! Without any previous planning or trials!"

And so, now, they have no idea how to calculate our marks. And they are formulating a formula. And all that. Supposedly to form a formula most useful and beneficial to us students. Not that I'm not grateful, I just expected you to have done this before you changed the system.

Planning skills. My university has never heard of it?

And today, in an awesome display of my university's amazing organizational skills time was wasted. If they had done this properly, it wouldn't have come to that you know? A lot of people needn't have missed lunch. I would call it an elementary decision but apparently, not everyone thinks so. At least they don't think so. A joint is class, is joint, fucktards.

My university likes to complicate really simple stuff.

So, now, thanks to my university's amazing skills of organization and planning, I have to take the HER paper (something like a remedial paper if you failed the real test, to help you, of course), without knowing if I passed the real test or not, that I have to study for, because my conscience won't let me not study for the damn thing. Which I count as a waste of my time.

Of course, it's all for our good. It's all for our sake. You love us, so much. So, so much.

"I am in awe of your organizational skills.
I am struck speechless by your organizational skills.
I am on my knees, begging, to learn your organizational skills."

you are honestly, really, really stupid

akunona

I want a new fan

For my room. Because it's hot. And my fan does not rotate. And my fan keeps falling from it's perch that the next time it does, I am convinced it'll break in three.

I am also so broke, my bank account echoes. But ignore that. That's life. We make sacrifices. And if it means being in Malaysia with my mom and my siblings, then I am willing.

I also have work to do, so I really should not be doing this. But you know how, this feels don't you? Every student (except the painfully abnormal ones) know how this feels. Dread at not finishing before the deadline and yet too lazy to even look at it yet and kinda rebelling (fruitlessly) at everything expected of you.

I don't want to think about all this but, then again, I am right now. That's why I'm typing this, right?

I have a load of shit to do.

I need references oh my god. I NEED REFERENCES. WHY ARE THERE NO REFERENCES??? HOW THE HELL DO YOU GO ABOUT MAKING THESE SCENARIOSSS???

I swear my lecturers are sadistic. They enjoy seeing us squirm. And right now, I have the bad luck of being in the group currently targeted.

I obviously cannot work under speculation!!! It's fucking speculation!!! I need proof! This is a scientific report! (it should be, but the way this is going, it's looking like a Bahasa Melayu essay.)

That was a sudden lapse in sanity. It happens.

This week looks daunting. Serves you right for not studying since the first week. Believe it or not, I start studying in the first week of every block, take it easy in the second and start picking up in the third before going all out in the fourth. The system is fairly adjustable for 5 or 6 weeks blocks, no problem. But this time around? I haven't kept up with anything since the first week, going into the second and only got some decent studying for the first time since the start of this block last night.

Yeah, yeah you say, here you go, whining again. I feel somehow, I am entitled.

It's cathartic, you know.

Also, OSCE in a months time. Am I scared? Yes. Am I studying? A little. Am I ready? Hell no.

I am scared.


And another thing, I hate this block. Like very much.

Very, very much. Bleagh

israndomlyangryatyou

akunona

that's what you think

Exams have been pushed back to Monday. We are having a three day weekend. All the people out there who have not finished reading up the subject material can now rejoice and go watch a movie or drama or mindless entertainment of your choice.

Not saying that I am not one of them.

But I still don't like it. There goes my weekend which I had thought to spend with hanging out at malls, doing nothing in particular. Now my weekend will see me sitting at home, doing nothing in particular.

I actually had prepared myself for staying up until the wee hours of the morning to study you know? Took a nap in the afternoon, finished up the smaller notes and drew up a table in my head. Yes, I am that nerdy. But that is beside the point.

The point is, my University is weird. After three years, it only continues to get weirder. I am morbidly fascinated at how weird it can get.

Though when you break it down, it's all just organizational problems.

Drama, Ukrida has it.

Anyway, I decided to take things slow and read as I go along. Maybe we'll go out next week

In other news, I want a boyfriend. So I can bully him into going with me to the mall. Walking by yourself is lonely, ya kno...

weirdismyuniversity

akunona

ps: the last post is read:

are?
what are you saying?
I don't understand.
-heart-
akunona

genetically speaking...

we just had our first exam in the new system. 40 multiple choice questions in 40 minutes. Starts as soon as you sit down in the hall.

Not exactly as hard as I expected it to be. Maybe because it's still the first one? We have another one in two weeks. Our "Integration 2" paper.

The questions were case based, not dissimilar to the integration papers we used to take every block before this.

I'm still withholding judgment? I want to see where this goes.

Just came back from watching "Wall Street". Being slightly sleep deprived right now, I can't really say anything much about the movie but Shia Lebouf is amazing. I guessed half the story line correctly but couldn't think it through the end.

So anyway, here's to hoping Integration 2 is as easy. And that we can all pass and graduate when we're supposed to .

I should probably go to sleep now

sleepdepriveddragonissleepdeprived

AkunonA

p/s: I only act like this when I am so tired, I can't even think.

*head desk**head desk**face palm*

I'm trying to write my report for my latest case in my PBL.
Trying is the key word here.
I can't get the words to come out properly. ARGHHHH
I am stressed right now.
The topic is actually pretty common. Lots of literature available, I have the gist of it in my head. Have tried to flesh it out in my head continuously since the class last week.
And I can't seem to type it down. I am pissed.

Not to mention that Ukrida is being a bitch and hoisting a new system on us. ON OUR LAST SEMESTER. Before we go off for co-assistant-ship anyway. It still sucks.

We have an integration exam on Friday and though I have studied to some extent, I still hate this.

Alright. Have to go back to trying to write something remotely comprehensible. Apparently PBL now makes up almost all our marks.

ho yeah..... not

*headdesk*headdesk*headdesk

AkunoNA

entry of expected depression

results finally came out today. I had Aqilah take mine for me since I'm obviously not there right now.

I failed my oral medicine paper. It was for the first block of the sixth semester if I'm not mistaken. Even after remedial papers I still failed that paper. I had expected it really.

I couldn't answer both papers. The real exam and the remedial papers. I had prepared myself for that particular blow. But getting the news still hurt. Hahahaha

At least I didn't fail the minor surgery skill lab as well. I had expected that. Because, come on, anesthesia is a very important step. Thankfully I didn't.

Mom said that this is a very important experience. It's good because failing will make you work even harder. Right now though, I don't really want to think about it. I have another semester before I go into clinicals.

will work harder. Will work better.

I won't let this happen again.

InsyaAllah.

notreallytakingthisgracefullyamI

AkunonA

Makan hati

hari ni buat entry dalam bahasa malaysia lah plak. tapi, mesti jadi campur2 gak bahasa ni karang.

sekali sekala kena gak meluahkan perasaan dengan bahasa sendiri. Pernah rasa tak, kadang2 susah nak express kan perasaan pakai satu bahasa? So selalu campur2 bahasa. apparently it's a common occurrence untuk orang2 bilingual. Cube bayangkan plak orang yang multilingual tu. Camne agaknya diorang nak get their point across? Too many words too many feelings. Sometimes ade satu perkataan jek yang bleh expresskan perasaan die waktu tu. Tapi kadang2 orang lain tak paham. Biar lah kan. Context tu ada. Kalau dari segi tu pun tak bleh paham, tak tau lah sape lagik yang bleh tolong awak.

But that's not the point malam ni.

Malam ni, nona saje jek nak tulis macam2.

Malam ni nona saje jek nak mengarut macam2.

Bleh kata dah tak daya pun ada.

Bleh kata dah malas pun ada.

Tapi jalan jugak. Tapi buat jugak. Tapi usaha jugak.

Esok ada lagi. Esok mula lagi. Esok habis lagi.

Faham tak? Mesti tak faham. Takpelah tak faham pun.

Na tgh exam skang. whohoooo. kalau kira post ade 138. 120 darinya agak2 ngomel pasal exam.

Nak wat camne. Sape suruh jadi medical student. Exam mencurah-curah. Kalau exam tu currency, ak rasa kitorng kat sini kanak2 terkaya dalam dunia.

So, anyway. Sok kita sunat dummy. Dengan hanya berpandukan theory and pengalaman menghentam waktu the first and last and ONLY skill lab yang TANPA PANDUAN LANGSUNG tu, esok kita exam skill lab kerat2 dummy. Karang, orang circumcise, ak pegi castrate.

oh tidak. Mintak simpang jauh. Tak mau ak repeat skill lab. In fact, tak may repeat apa2 pun. itu jek tujuan ak blaja skang. Supaya tak payah repeat apa2 dah. Tapi macam next sem kena amik semester pendek. Almaklumlah, makin tua, makin malas, makin bodoh. Orang lain makin pandai. Kau sorang terkontang-kanting dekat belakang.

Ak jealous dengan seseorang. Ak rasa dia ada segalanya. Beauty, brains and all the boys. Ak takde satu pun dari mende2 tu. Pastu bila ak tengok dia complain, ak rasa nak tendang dia. Pastu ak pikir, ade ke orang lain rasa mende tu kat ak? kalo ade, ak mintak maap. Ak pikir2 balik, ye lah. Sume orang ade rough patches die kan. biarlah tak yah jeles2 kan. tapi kadang2 rasa jugak. simpan sorang dah lah. Tambah koleksi gastric ulcer ak. Kalo ko buat OMD kat perut ak, mesti nampak banyak "bintang-bintang". Gambaran malignant ulcers dkt lambung. though i forgot the correct term, kalu tunjuk gambar, insyaAllah ingat lagik.

Sem ni adalah one whole rough patch untuk ak. Macam2 jadik. Macam2 tak jadik. Complete paradigm change terjadi. Tapi ak rasa ko tak bleh nak tukar personality ak. Study makin lama makin susah. Kenapa time-time macam ni ko jadik pelik nona? Biasalah. Orang aneh. Orang kata "it never rains, it pours".

macam mana orang lain bleh cope? Asal ko takleh?

Ak tgk kawan-kawan lama ak da banyak yang dah berubah. Da jadi macam2. Ade da kerja. Ada da kawin. Ada yang dah nak graduate. Terasa tertinggal. Ak sorang je ke yang rasa cam lapuk skit?

Aku jumpe balik budak tu. Haha. Ntah. Aku pelik gak dengan dia. Tapi takpe yek. Skarang ak dah ok. Skarang ak da sedar. Mintak maap pasal dulu2. Walaupun ak rasa ap yang ak wat adalah secara tidak langsung. Ak tak berani. Sampai sekarang ak tak berani. Ko campak ak buat public speaking, takpe. Ko suruh ak cakap one on one, sorry la. Tak lepas. Ade gak orang cam ak :)

Entry yang agak panjang dan merapu. Kalau bleh nak panjang lagik. Tapi nanti orang2 yang baca lagi confuse plak.

Orang yang berlagak tough tu, dialah yang paling lemah sebenarnya.

nonamenganehkanmalamanda

AkunOnA

ps: kalau ko baca, and kalau ko perasan tu adalah ko, memang ko pun. :)

pps: bleh tak jangan terpengaruh dengan orang lain? tu orang lain. ade sebab kenapa dia orang lain.