just listening to music

Life as a houseman pretty much sucks.

But that's expected. That's pretty much old news

I'm doing pediatrics now and I'm usually so stressed, I feel like crying every time I'm about to go to work.

I have a theory:

Baby's cries are geared at a frequency that is supposed to get your attention. I mean, babies can't communicate, right? So how else are they going to get attention? 

As a pediatric houseman working at the neonate ward, I am exposed, for long hours every day, to the incessant crying of various brats. And there's really nothing much that I can do about it. I mean, if I were to check on every crying baby, I wouldn't get any work done. And there isn't only one baby. There are literally dozens of babies in the SCN. And there is no single hour were there aren't at least two of them who are crying. 

So, what does this mean?

It means that I am exposed to long hours of crying that are especially geared to stimulate a response in my brain to find out and stop that source of crying. But because I can't do that, it continues to aggravate said stimulus until I am really, really, really fucking stressed.

And that is why, all peads housemen, working at neonate wards are unduly stressed. We're stressed. We just don't know why, really. I mean, work is stressful, yes. But it's really, really bad down here. 

And that's my theory.

I could probably do a study on this. If I was ever so diligent.

But I took that part of me to the back room and shot it in the head ages ago.

So yeah...

I hate peads. 

I really, really do.

Sometimes, I'm really jealous of the people who have the guts to get out of medicine. Just pack up and leave the entire industry.

I think I might want to. But then again, I really love what I'm doing. And I'm not even kidding. I would miss this. Somehow.

Even if I'm not doing that great of a job at it.

I think I'm going to be extended here. 

Do I care? A little bit. I don't want to have to do this longer than I should. But maybe, if I were to be extended. It would be my fault. And I can't really blame anyone for it.

It's been one month and I still haven't gotten the hang of all this shit. 

So that's why, every time I can get away with it, I usually have one earphone jammed into one ear. 

Because I still need the other one to hear orders. 

breaking a little bit

akunona